Age and Such...

Wow, really 3 years that I've ignored my blog!! I have un-returned library books longer than that, and the amazing fact was that it was still here, they hadn't deleted it!! I guess I'm returning cause I have a lot on my mind. I have been in the blender of Hell these past 3 years spinning and spinning around and now it's finally coming to a stop. I will elaborate later on that and all my Hell (most of it is my own doing though). I just turned 52 the other day, I know you're saying "52??? Holy Moley Dennis you're not 52!) Well yes I am and Yes it's gonna be one of those age rant blogs so fasten your seat belts and pass the Pepto kiddos! I've come to realize alot about myself lately, some good some bad and I'm coming to terms with a lot of them. I guess age does that to you. Things are more clearer now, Don't get me wrong the windshield is still dirty but the road is much clearer!

I have things that I wanna accomplish for myself and for my kids but certain behaviors from people get in my way and make it hard! I wanna get them outta my way but it's gonna take time to do it right and cause the least damage! Even if Im left alone "The Last Man Standing" it'll be worth it! I wish I was'nt so heart centered sometimes too, Damn you Heart!!! ( Not you Anne and Nancy...) It really gets in my way! I've made some HUGE mistakes and I'm realizing I don't have to live with them and I can still do the right thing at the same time! I need to have a clear conscience about what I do too, because I enjoy sleeping nights! I see everyone getting older and I wanna yell STOP!! but Time the Avenger never stops, so I will not chase and curse him anymore but rather join the journey along with him. When my Grandparents died I thought I would never get over it, but I did and I came to see all the wonderful things they left me with, The died from ailments but I know they died peacefully and with God and they loved me and that's what matters in the end huh! My heart has been darkened and hardened for the last 13 years and I'm really, really tired of it. I want my free spirit back I wanna be happy and die happy!

Well that's all I have to say about that, If I write more I'll start naming names and saying stuff I don't wanna say, and that's not good! I leave you with the daily affermation from The Help "I am Good, I am Kind and I am Special!!